Unbearable loneliness, and feelings of being unloved and unwanted.

How much can one person take before they break? 

With no one she's willing to talk to, not wanting to sound like a bother. After all, she was never made such a big deal of, no standing ovation, or even petty “participation” trophies. She, the outcast, the lonely girl, the one who's just there. She, who always feels like she has to be the one to put herself into groups in order to feel the dreadful feeling of being left out disappear. She, who always feels so out of place no matter what she tries. She, who wants to scream into the void but her voice is shot down and silenced by the people who she loves. She, who never really felt like she mattered. All she could do was hold on to the hope of it getting better, hold on to the hope of “maybe today will be different” only for it to be as same as the last. What else could she do? Her options are running thin, she wants to speak to friends, family, anyone, but she can never find the words. She never knew how to convey such feelings of hopelessness, depression, and unbearable loneliness. Never knew how to tell it without feeling like she was pointing fingers, would it be better to close all her open doors and lock them two, three, a hundred times over? Make sure not a single soul can ever come in or out? After all, the unbearable loneliness is all she's ever really known. Even if all logic and reason tells her that will help no one, she still sits alone wondering if it's for the best. Alone, like she's always been. Just her and her unbearable loneliness.